Traveling sola.

This is my first time I´ve traveled this extensively totally by myself before.

It´s awesome...



...and it also sucks.

The Pros:
Quiet time to write, reflect and read.
Getting to go, do, see what you want, when you want.
Interacting with others and hearing peoples stories along the way.
Going outside of your comfort zone to get involved in what´s going on around you.
Learning and growing through independence.
Making mistakes and learning how to do something better.

Drinking in a dark Mezcal bar.

The Cons:
Being forced to interact with others out of boredom or lonliness.
Going outside of your comfort zone when you´d really just rather stay in a bubble.
The times when you want people around, you have to go searching for it.
Feeling awkward and self'conscience approaching strangers.
It gets lonely talking to myself all the time.
You don´t look like you´re having fun when you´re drinking by yourself. You just don´t.
No one catches your mistakes and you have to learn the hard way.

I´ve been struggling with this a lot the last few days. I expected all of these feelings. But what I didn´t expect was to see the different me when all my secure places and people are stripped away. Being faced with the reality of who you are and how you act in different settings can really wreck a person. Constantly having to put yourself out there is vunerable and sometimes it can sting.

So what do you do?

 I rely a lot on prayer-that I give myself grace, and God build up courage in me.

I take pictures of my food and the places I see.

I go to the bar by myself or eat a meal in silence.

I start up those awkward conversations and hope there is some connection.


And sometimes along the way, someone extends an invitation to sit with them. Sometimes, they start the awkward conversations. Sometimes, you look up and see a person that shares the exact same struggles that you do.