Wholehearted

The title for this blog was inspired by a series of messages, talks, books and discussions with wonderful women and professionals over the past few months.

"Wholehearted" is a term I got from reading and listening to Brené Brown. This idea of living as a wholehearted person has stemmed from her TED Talks, books and research about shame, vulnerability and what it means to live life in connection with others.

In her talks, she defines a "Wholehearted" person as someone who has:

Courage-To tell the story of who they are with their whole heart, including their imperfections.

Compassion-To love themselves first for who they are and love others the same.

      Connection-Stepping into relationships with authenticity and letting go of who you think you should be, in order to embrace who God made you to be.

I struggle with loving myself for who I am. 

I hear the voice of shame say: "You're not _______ enough."

I compare myself to others and to the imaginary person I think I should be.

I am broken.

But I bet you are too.

All of us are in some way. 

One of the most powerful quotes I took away from Brené Brown's work was: 

"Shame needs 3 things to grow: Secrecy, Silence and Judgement.  

The two most powerful words when we're in struggle are: Me too."

Loving ourselves and others the way that God loves us is the only way to grow, transform and live wholehearted. Right now I'm working through that and trying to break down some of the walls I've put up around me to hide who I am inside. 

My desire and aspiration for the next couple of months is to begin peeling back those layers of insecurities and imperfections. For the next 5 weeks, I will be removed from the daily life I have settled into. I will be traveling alone for 3 weeks with little more than God's word, my own thoughts, and interactions with strangers to keep me engaged. 

Some have asked, "Aren't you afraid to travel alone?" or "Won't you get really lonely or bored?" 

Sure. Of course I predict to have feelings of loneliness, apprehension, insecurities, boredom and feeling lost. 

But more so I'm elated and expectant. I'm preparing for a time of self-discovery and growth. A chance to spend time in the presence of God, diving straight into my gaping holes and begin filling them with truth.  I want to challenge myself to be open and authentic with others who I meet along the way, and be aware of the Spirit guiding me to certain people, places and conversations. I want to dare greatly in my attempts, failures and successes. 

Give me courage.